Control What You Can in the Moments You Own
No matter the situation, you control your attitude and effort. Do this whenever you feel overwhelmed. Make it a habit to take a beat and breath. Practice positive self-talk and tell yourself what you need to hear to get back out there and perform at your highest ability.
Winning and Losing, According to John Wooden
John Wooden, legendary former UCLA basketball coach, did a TED Talk before he passed away about how to find success. I have watched it many times, and even shown it to a few teams I have worked with.
The Resilient Athlete
A resilient athlete is "able to access their talent at the highest level they are capable on a consistent basis regardless of the situation."
Family, First
As adults, we have a responsibility to allow our children to be children. Why do so many parents feel the need to fill every weekend with tournaments and training at the cost of letting a child be a child? What about family time? What about letting kids hang out with their friends? These are a problem that is only being exacerbated by many people in youth sports, specifically the club coaches who promise that taking a weekend off, much less a few weeks, would be severely detrimental to the development of that player. That is just wrong thinking.
Winning and Losing
“Sometimes when you win, you actually lose, and sometimes when you lose, you really win, and sometimes when you win or lose, you actually tie, and sometimes when you tie, you actually win or lose. Winning or losing is all one organic mechanism, from which one extracts what one needs.” -Gloria Clemente, White Men Can’t Jump
A Father's Love
My dad passed away on Monday. He was a good man. He was a father to more than his sons and a friend to more than a few. This is one of my favorite moments as his oldest son.
Once a Coach, Always a Coach
We continued to talk for a few more minutes. It is always great to catch up with former players and see what lessons they took from our time together. This conversation reminded me, however, that a coach’s influence doesn’t end when the season is over, but that for the rest of that player’s life, I will always be “Coach.”
Athlete Motivation
Be the kind of coach that is a student of students. Learn about each player and be intentional about growing each relationship appropriately. You are one of the most important models of how to be an adult, so model the behavior you want to see in the world.
Question: How can I get my 14-year-old to not be so critical?
Coach, when my 14-year-old son comes home from practice and the only one criticizing him is himself, it is frustrating. As a goalie, he is pretty vocal on the field, except for when he makes mistakes. The angrier he gets at himself, the worse he plays. Is there a technique to somehow curb that anger and frustration so it doesn't mess him up, or does that start to become a maturity thing?
Conversation with Coach
Remember, we are in the business of creating adults. In the past week, I have not seen a cone, replaced a cleat, or heard a whistle, but I have had hard conversations with other adults. I can do that in part because the youth coaches I had were my models for communication and I was lucky to have some really great examples.
Non-Verbal Communication and Recruiters
Character matters. It shows in the little moments that don’t take much effort but have major effects. Find ways to celebrate a player who displays wonderful traits like empathy; but more importantly, be a model of empathy to your players.
Taking My Shot
In defeat, there can be success. Be the coach that empowers others to make the attempt, regardless of the scoreboard.
The Double Defeat
When the scoreboard says defeat, and you have given yourself completely to the experience, you can hang your head high knowing you gave your all.
But if you held back, and you lost, you lost TWICE: A double defeat.
That will for sure keep you up late at night sobbing about your "what if" story.
Attention to Detail
Coach, challenge your athletes to set the standard for the team. They will not adhere to seemingly arbitrary rules handed down on a piece of paper or written on a wall. You didn't when you were an athlete and neither will they. However, if you can get them to feel how the expectation will help them, you will see improved compliance.
Take Control of Your Destiny
This is a speech I gave to a championship football team three months before they were champions. It was a room full of young men, but the speech could easily be for either gender.
Your future is being created right now, in this instant. Take ownership of what you can control and be the reason for your success, leaning not on the talent of others, but by the character of your best self.”
The Greatest Teacher, Failure is.
Rarely will a great idea interrupt us. Silence your doubts and your ego, then what to do next to reach your goal will be obvious.
Opportunity is NOWHERE
My friend Ed came to town visit and talk teaching leadership to athletic teams. After a few hours of great conversation, he sat back and said, "Alright, we have talked about a lot of stuff. But if you If you could only say one thing to a group of athletes, what would you say?"
Be Bigger on the Inside than on the Outside
Its not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
The Whisper of Inspiration
“LEATH! LEATH!” I hear my replacement yelling my name. I jog to the sidelines and report to my position coach. He is furious. At 5’9, my defensive back coach played college football at the same position I was just relieved of. I prepare myself for a wicked tongue lashing, but I get nothing.